Reading time – 1:56; Viewing time – 3:52 . . .
This just in – CNN has reported that for the very first time Donald Trump, in a news conference, responded to a reporter’s question and only repeated himself twice. While his sentence did not address the reporter’s question, the lack of a third and fourth repetition was refreshing and the entire news corps seemed to delight in Trump’s surprise pairing of a noun and a verb, and, most surprising of all, he delivered the entire sentence without adding, “Believe me.”
In other breaking news, Republican presidential candidate Marco Rubio (R-FL) said that Trump is a meanie who wants to stop him from coming out to play and that Trump had called Rubio’s mommy to tell on him. Immediately after saying that, Rubio made a wild grab for his water bottle, then said yet again that, “President Obama knows exactly what he is doing.” An unnamed source close to Governor Chris Christie reported that the governor commented, “See what I mean?”
In an unrelated story, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie held a news conference following the Donald Trump news conference which followed the Mitt Romney news conference which followed the Super Tuesday election results. Governor Christie responded to questions about his facial expressions as he introduced candidate Trump and then remained on stage during Trump’s comments. He said that the strained look on his face as he introduced Mr. Trump was due to gastrointestinal distress caused by the four chili cheese dogs he had eaten for breakfast. He said that he did his best to look upbeat but that it was difficult under the – this is what he called them – “pressured circumstances” and that he actually wasn’t paying any attention to Trump at all. Noticing that at his news conference, Mr. Trump turned to Governor Christie and was overheard saying, “Chris, you’re my largest friend, but I have to tell you, this is exactly why you’re a loser. It’s like that bridge business. Blaming things on underlings is good strategy, but when you’re on camera people see you. Believe me. It’s true. They can see you. Believe me.”
At a rally in Cleveland, OH last night, presidential candidate John Kasich was gesticulating in his signature fashion, pumping his forearms and hands downward to accentuate every phrase he uttered. In the process, he injured his right hand by slamming it onto the podium and had to be taken to the Cleveland Clinic for X-rays and then to have taped to his hand a brace of the type that makes a hand look more like a lobster claw. Speaking to reporters as he left the clinic, Governor Kasich commented that he may have to adjust his speaking style by taking two giant steps backward. Immediately upon hearing the governor’s comment, Donald Trump said that Kasich is already so far back that if he does what he indicated that he’ll fall off the back of the stage, but that, “Kasich is a very nice man. Believe me. He’s very nice.”
And finally, CNN reported on the aluminum aircraft skin found off the coast of Mozambique last week by an American tourist. The part is believed to be debris from Malaysia Airlines Flight 370, which vanished without a trace on March 8, 2014, leaving CNN with continuous breaking news of guesses by uninformed experts for over a month. This new find means that periodically CNN will be able to interrupt their nonstop breaking news of election issues with breaking news about this piece of aluminum. In announcing this breaking news, Wolf Blitzer breathlessly expressed his gratitude for the fresh Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 breaking news and looked forward to more continuous breaking news.
That’s all the breaking news that’s fit to obsess over.
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Ed. note: There is much in America that needs fixing and we are on a path to continually fail to make things better. It is my goal to make a difference – perhaps to be a catalyst for things to get better. That is the reason for these posts. To accomplish the goal requires reaching many thousands of people and a robust dialogue.
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Copyright 2024 by Jack Altschuler
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